In this jubilee year of reflecting on the apostle Paul, let’s think of how his relationship with God matured so as to reflect on how our relationship with God may mature.
Paul was a Jew, a very well educated Pharisee, meaning he was a law-abiding member of the fast growing movement that was eventually able to win the hearts and minds of Jews worldwide especially in 70 AD when Jerusalem was destroyed. The ideal, which Paul aspired to and was zealous for, was to be a good man and to help other Jews be good men and women, by being faithful to the Torah. This is somewhat similar to a common way of thinking in our own time, namely, being a good person is where we can stop our spiritual growth.
Then Paul got knocked to the ground when he heard Jesus say to him, Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? Thus begins a profound revolution in the way Paul sees things. He comes to know Jesus in a direct way, in a mystical way.
After this moment of conversion Paul goes into the desert for three years and enters into a mystical union with the Lord that he describes in 2nd Corinthians: “I know someone in Christ who, fourteen years ago (whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows), was caught up to the third heaven. And I know that this person (whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows) was caught up into paradise and heard ineffable things, which no one may utter.” So, let’s just say that Paul knew all about the experiences of mystical union with Christ which are tastes of heaven.
This brings us back to today’s selection from Romans 8 about the Spirit’s aiding our prayer with inexpressible groanings.
To understand what Paul is saying about prayer, let’s look at the steps of the prayer life:
- The first step in the life of prayer is to realize that I am loved by God. This most easily happens if I am raised in a family of unconditional love. It takes no great leap from knowing I am unconditionally loved by my parents to see that I am unconditionally loved by God. A lot of people, however, do not grow up in unconditional love, so their growth in union with God may be delayed and may be skewed by their not knowing unconditional love.
- The 2nd step is to allow the Unconditional Lover to show me how I am separating myself from God by making choices that bring distance into the relationship. In other words, I allow the Lord to show me my sin so that I may call upon the Lord to save me from my selfishness. For some people this is when God makes His first appearance in their life.
- Once I know the Lord as someone I too am persecuting, then I am drawn into an ever deepening relationship of love. As the Lord purifies me, bit by bit, I find that I yearn to be with the Lord, I seek to spend time in prayer with the Lord, and I want to know everything I can know about the Lord. This is when I read the Gospels and get to know them inside and out. This is when I learn how to pray the rosary and even the hardest parts of our religion begin to make sense to me.
- As my prayer life grows in fidelity and in being conscious of the Lord every day, I go through spiritual difficulties. I feel as if my prayer is never adequate. I become frustrated, and I am tempted to give up. All of this is part of my spiritual growth and my spiritual groaning. Ah, yes, groaning! I yearn for greater union with the Lord but I feel that my prayer is not working. At the same time, my yearning for the Lord is even more intense.
- The most important thing at this point in our prayer life, and this is the key to this selection from Romans 8, is to keep faithful to prayer even if it’s frustrated groaning. For, “the Spirit comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes with inexpressible groanings. And the one who searches hearts knows what is the intention of the Spirit, because he intercedes for the holy ones according to God’s will.”
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