The Heart of the Matter

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned . . .

If I didn't know better, I'd swear that this picture looks like a lady going to Confession.  The man even looks like he's wearing a priest's stole. And it looks like the next penitent is waiting on line, getting impatient with how long the confession is taking.

Ah, it's Hilary and "Father" Karzai!

If you get this blog by e-mail, pictures don't come though, so go to www.fatherbillsblog.com and check out today's entry (May 8, 2008).

First Confessions: what a trip!

Last night we had First Confessions of our second graders who are also preparing for their First Holy Communion, which will take place after Easter.  There were six of us priests hearing the confessions of these second graders, and their parents as well.  Parents who have prepared their youngsters for this sacrament know that at 7 years of age the conscience begins to kick in.  It's actually quite moving to hear of second graders' repentance for doing something they know was wrong. 

In this era of so many adults going to see therapists to discuss the deep dark secrets of their lives, a brighter light should shine on the value of the Sacrament of Penance, also known as Reconciliation and Confession.   Just think, in the 10 steps of an alcoholic's recovery according to "the Big Book" of A. A., steps 4 and 5 involve telling another person the destructive things that one has done and then making amends for them.  This is where the blame game stops. 

If that's true with addictions, it's even more true with coming to realize that making sinful choices is where we limit our freedom.  Anyone who has taken advantage of this sacrament in a purposeful manner knows the freedom that comes from confessing our sins to a priest who stands in for the Lord and absolves us. And, making a firm purpose of amendment to avoid the near occasions of sin, the grace of this sacrament enables us to experience a whole new start on life.  We stop blaming our parents, our boss, our church and God, and we take ownership over our lives by admiting our guilt, and then, newly forgiven, we become free from carrying around the burden of the bad choices we made.

Why don't more people take advantage of the Sacrament of Penance?

Some wisdom from a penitent

Time and again I am bowled over by an insight from a penitent who has come to confession to experience the loving-kindness of our God in the Sacrament of Penance.  One penitent recently told me:

"When I committed these sins, I did not sense that God was punishing me.  In fact, things seemed to go on as they had before.  But over time, there was a change.  In me; not in Him.  I felt estranged from Him. I felt lonely for Him. I felt absent from Him, even though I knew He was not absent from me.  I started to yearn for Him and I desired to make my way back to Him."

Ah!  This penitent reminded me of St. Augustine's similar insight: 

"Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you!  You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you.  In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created.  You were with me, but I was not with you.  Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you they would not have been at all.  You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness.  You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness.  You breathed your fragrance on me; I drew in breath and now I pant for you.  I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more.  You touched me, and I burned for your peace."

Sometimes a little humor helps when thinking about going to confession

Check this out to enjoy a different take on what confession could be like!

I feel like Padre Pio!

Padre Pio was an Italian Capuchin friar who spent hours everyday in the confessional.  People came to him from all over the world to go to confession to him.  Well, I can't compare to him, after all, he was canonized as a saint, and he had the stigmata too!  But I did spend hours today in the confessional hearing confessions and giving some spiritual guidance and then absolving the penitents from their sins.  What other calling do you know that has the forgiveness of sins as one of the elements of a job description?

There is a red line difference between going to a counselor and going to confession.  In counseling the same issues may be dealt with as in confession, but the emphasis is very different.  In the Sacrament of Penance the penitent comes with an awareness of what he or she has done to make life problematical and asks for forgiveness for causing, or aggravating, the problems in life.  And what the penitent looks for is not worldly wisdom or the benefit of sound science, but rather the penitent seeks absolution, a fresh start, a new way of living, and above all an encounter with the Lord Jesus Himself, through the ministry of the priest.

In the Sacrament of Penance the penitent is aware of having, at least to some degree, disturbed his or her relationship with the Lord Jesus.  And the believer knows that there is nothing more important than that relationship.  Or, to put this in the words of Pope Benedict in his new encyclical: "Life in its true sense is not something we have exclusively in or from ourselves: it is a relationship. And life in its totality is a relationship with Him who is the Source of Life. If we are in relation with Him who does not die, who is Life itself and Love itself, then we are in life. Then we live."

The difference between guilt and compunction

This may help a lot of people: "Good guilt" is a mechanism that God gives us directly within our conscience (God speaking to us within our heart of hearts) that such and such an action was not good.  The purpose of good guilt is to make us aware of the harm we have done, our need to return to God's ways, amend our lives, and repair as best we can whatever harm we have done.  "Bad guilt" is living in a state of hating myself because I'm just so pathetic.  "Bad guilt" is not from God; because though God will give us the sting of conscience for doing something that alienates us from our best selves, God will not lead us into a trap some call "Catholic guilt," i.e. constantly feeling terrible in a narcissistic way.  When someone talks about "Catholic guilt" they are either talking about a family dynamic of fault-finding or they do not understand the spiritual life at all.

There is, however, a virtue called "compunction."  "Compunction" is an abiding sense of honesty, a clearly seeing how one's actions have diminished the glory of God which is meant to shine through us.  "Compunction" is the virtue of knowing in the core of my being that I am very much loved by God, yet very much in need of God's patience, mercy and forgiveness.  "Compunction" does not lead to self-recriminations or self-hatred.  It leads instead to a profound sense of gratitude and joy for God's being so kind and merciful.

"Bad guilt" leads to one vice after another and eventually to a dead end.  "Good guilt" leads to changing our ways.  "Compunction" leads to greater and greater virtue.

Why bother?

Sometimes people ask me why they should reveal themselves to another human being by going to confession.  It would seem that some take offense to the Sacrament of Reconciliation (also known as "Confession, or the "Sacrament of Penance").  But isn't that reaction odd, especially in an age of self-revelation through, among other things, blogs!  Yet the benefit that flows from going to confession to a priest is one of the most extraordinary hidden weapons for people who want to go into spiritual warfare and conquer the vices in their lives.  You see, it's not just a human interaction; it's packed with God's grace.  St. Ignatius of Loyola, one of the great teachers of what goes on in the spiritual life, tells us that the tactic of the enemy of our human nature (an evil spirit) desires that our most base and dehumanizing impluses wish to remain secret.  In that cloak of secrecy the vices flourish and gain power by being kept secret from anyone who could say that some deception is going on.  That's why they call Satan "the Father of Lies."  When we get caught in a vice, it's always because we have begun to believe a lie.  Yet, the tactic of the movement of God in our hearts (a good spirit) is to bring those secret matters to light, with the most appropriate person, someone of spiritual depth and solid grounding in the ways of God.  Add on top of that, there's the grace of the sacrament, and you've got something absolutely extraordinary going on!  And that most extraordinary thing is absolution, surety of forgiveness from God, a new start, and a knowledge of not having to carry around whatever it was that debased us.  One last thing: whatever most shames us, fills us with self-loathing, and leaves us feeling alientated from God and from others is something to break free from by the use of this wonderful sacrament.  You might ask: how does one actually go to confession?  Just go to the local Catholic Church and find out when confessions are, and then go and tell the priest, "Help me go to confession."  We priests do that all the time!  And by the way, after we've been a priest for a few years, there's nothing we're going to hear from you that haven't already heard!  God bless you!