The Heart of the Matter

Preparing parents for their children's First Holy Communion

Tonight we had our initial session with parents whose want our help in preparing their children for First Holy Communion.  Here's what I said to them:

  

Welcome to all of our parents who want us to help you prepare your children for First Holy Communion.  You are embarking on one of the things you will be most grateful for when you reach the Pearlie Gates: that you gave Jesus to your children!

Let me put First Holy Communion (and every Holy Communion thereafter) into the right theological context of how we move into spiritual maturity.

Our first step of Christian maturity is to know God as love.  This means that God is a personal encounter with us, a relationship that make the child (and then the adult) secure in the unconditional love God has for us.  This divine love is even far more significant than parental love. 

When a child is raised in a consciousness of the love of God, then that child will grow into a secure adult, a virtuous adult, a fearless adult, and an adult who is not self-absorbed but is someone who will make a great contribution to others all through life.

Our next step in Christian maturity is developing a good conscience so we can tell when we are putting up a hand against the Lord, telling Him to come no closer.  This is the step of recognizing we are sinners in need of conversion of heart, and a change in our ways of doing things.  This step leads us into realizing how I, specifically I, need a Savior.  It’s an honest recognition that without the grace of God I cannot live up to my potential, and that without the grace of God I can make a real mess of things.  This is the stage of my being the sinner, and Jesus being the Savior.

Since I am now entering into a deeper relationship with the Savior, I now want to know everything I possibly can about Him.  I want to read about Him in the Gospels, I want to spend time with Him in prayer, I want Him so much that I hunger for Him, I yearn for Him, I desire Him, and I cannot keep myself away from Him.  It is in this stage that the sacraments take n a power that can only be described as divine.  In this stage there is no guesswork in whether or not I attend Sunday Mass because my love for Jesus has grown so much that I cannot live without the Sunday Eucharist.  This is the stage of my being the disciple and Jesus being the Master.

The next stage in Christian maturity is my realizing the depth of my relationship with the Lord so that I know Him as my friend and I am His friend.  This is a huge leap forward is Christian maturity.  This is very different from some syrupy sentimentality where I think “Jesus is my friend” and therefore I can do anything I want. No, this degree of intimacy with the Lord happens only when we see Jesus go to His cross and suffer the Passion for me and for all of us.  This is where I begin to think like Jesus, to see things as He sees them, to do what He would do, and to bear others’ burdens as He does.  This is where I see Jesus in the poor, the disenfranchised, the rejected people, the sick, the lonely, the addicted people, the very least of my brethren.”  This is where I know the cross of Christ so well that I become crucified to the world and the world becomes crucified to me.  This is where I become like my Friend.

And there is yet another stage of intimacy with the Lord.  This is where I know the Lord as Lover to me the Beloved.  This is the stage of my developing such a desire for the Lord that “I do not know which I prefer, to be with the Lord unceasingly, or to be with you for your sake.”  This stage has me walking in this life with one foot in heaven.  This is when I see things from the perspective of the Lover so well that no pain, no sorrow, nothing can distract me from my goal of life on high with Christ Jesus.  This is called the stage of Mystical Union or Mystical Marriage.  It is the stage of being utterly in love with the Lord.  It is the beginning of heaven, even here on earth.  In this stage of Christian maturity Holy Communion is exactly that: union with “the Holy”.

 

            So, dear parents, here you are, starting to prepare your children for entering into the greatest romance they will ever have – if they are carefully nurtured into grasping the meaning of the Eucharist, more and more as the years come by.

      

            Just think of what Holy Communion is: the God of all creation, the Word of God through whom was made everything that was made, became a human being and gave himself utterly for us on the cross.  This very same loving Lord of all, comes upon our altar and gives himself into our hands so we may take Him in and begin to taste that Mystical Union we are all called to possess. 

            Dear parents, nothing else that you do for your children is as important as giving them the Lord, for if I possess everything and have not the Lord, I have nothing at all.

Learning to pray the Triple Colloquy

Whenever I want to pray for something very important I use a form of prayer called the Triple Colloquy given to the Church by St. Ignatius of Loyola.  In his words, "The Colloquy is made, properly speaking, as one friend speaks to another, or as a servant to his master; now asking some grace, now blaming oneself for some misdeed, now communicating one's affairs, and asking advice in them."  After I have clarified what I am seeking from God, here is what I do:

1.  I first speak to the Blessed Mother: "Dear Mary, please take my request to your Divine Son, that He may present this request to our Heavenly Father." 

           Then I pray the Hail Mary.

2.       Then I ask the Lord Jesus:  "Lord Jesus, I beg you to take this request and present it to Your Father." 

Then I pray the Anima Christi* (Latin for “Soul of Christ”)

3.       Then I speak to the Father:  "Abba Father, with Your Son interceding for me, and with Mary our Queen, standing here on my behalf, please grant my request.” 

I conclude with praying the Our Father.

*Soul of Christ, sanctify me
Body of Christ, save me
Blood of Christ, inebriate me
Water from the side of Christ, wash me
O good Jesus, hear me
Within your wounds, hide me
Permit me not to be separated from you
From the wicked enemy, defend me
At the hour of my death, call me
And bid me come to you
That with your saints I may praise you
For ever and ever.
Amen.

Prayer, Fasting and Almsgiving

Since we are now into Lent, let's take a look at the 3 main methods of penitential practices we are encouraged by the Church to embrace during these 40 days of Lent: prayer, fasting and alms-giving; or to put them in the order Jesus does in the Gospel of Ash Wednesday: alms-giving, prayer and fasting.

Alms-giving is giving to God more than what we owe Him in justice.  And what do we owe Him in justice?  Ten percent of what comes in as earnings.  This 10% is called tithing.  Anything less is not tithing.  Less is partial tithing.  So, who actually tithes?  Not many.  But alms-giving is giving to God beyond what we owe Him, beyond the 10%, and this portion of giving is to be given to help the poor.  And why does Jesus ask us to give alms?  To break our selfishness and move us to care about people who are in need.  Some people like to cut to the chase and just give alms, that is, just give to the poor.  But this is not alms-giving because it leaves out what we owe God in justice.  Just giving to the poor, without giving what we owe in justice, can be an exercise of control.  So, you can see why this alms-giving thing is difficult indeed.  To read what Pope Benedict has to say about alms-giving, click here.

Prayer is hopefully something we do everyday, even many times a day.  But in Lent we are asked to increase our prayer.  If we are not accustomed to pray the Rosary, then start.  If we are unaccustomed to reading the Bible, then read a section of one of the Gospels everyday and work your way through that Gospel over the 40 days of Lent.  Or, as St. Theresa of Avila taught, all you really need to have down are the Our Father and the Hail Mary.  Praying these prayers over and over like a mantra can lead you into becoming a mystic; that is, becoming someone who is open to listening to God and learning to heed God's nudges.  But why does Jesus want us to pray?  So we can get to know Him, and love Him and learn how to serve Him.

Fasting is going hungry.  In my  last posting (the Mardi Gras blog) I gave details on what fasting looks like.  The short version is - letting ourselves experience hunger.  Why does Jesus want us to experience hunger?  For 2 reasons:  to become hungry for Him; and to become more aware of the people in the world who are literally hungry, every day.  Aha, that  brings us full circle to alms-giving.  If we through fasting become more aware of the poor, then our fasting has been done well.  (A bit different from dieting.)  I recommend Catholic Relief Services for your alms-giving.  They are worth reading about, so click here.  They are usually the first on the scene to help people suffering in worldwide disasters.

There are 3 degrees of humility? Yes.

In a comment section of a recent posting Betty asked about my giving her a suggestion about the degrees of humility.  So let me explain here that there are three degrees or manners of humility. 

The first degree of humility is this: that not for all the pleasure or money or prestige in the world would I break a commandment that binds me under mortal sin.  In other words, I need to have at least the degree of humility that would lead me not to argue with God about the 10 Commandments.  For one example, the 3rd Commandment binds us to keep the Lord's Day.  If I dismiss that commandment as negotiable, then I have a serious lapse in humility.  And so on, with the other 9 Commandments.

The second degree of humility leads me to an ever deeper union with our Lord so that I become free of those self-aggrandizing cravings like riches or honor or health or a long life so as to be free to devote myself to whatever the Lord leads me to in service of others.  Also, in this degree of humility I don't want to do the least little sin; I don't want to displease the Lord on any matter - not from any kind of anxiety, but from a love of the Lord that is so deep that I want to be totally in accord with His will.

The third degree of humility is the most perfect form of humility and requires attainment of the 1st and 2nd degrees of humility.  Now brace yourself for leaning into understanding this 3rd degree.

In the 3rd degree I want to be with Christ as He is now enfleshed in anyone who is in a state of poverty, dishonor, or is considered worthless or a fool.  Here I am not ashamed to associate myself with the kinds of people most others ignore or despise.  And I do this for the sake of "Christ, Who first was held as such, rather than wise or prudent in this world."

So where do you stand along the spectrum of the 3 degrees of humility?

For further information and an introduction to Ignatian spirituality check out: Theology of the Spiritual Exercises, by John A. Hardon, S. J.

A New Year's Day Reflection

On this first day of 2008 we all look forward to the future with hope and expectation for the new events, challenges and opportunities this new year will hold for us.  A key attitudinal adjustment we can all make as we approach the coming year is to make a determination to find God in all things, in whatever may happen.  If we believe in the grace of God, then no matter what happens, good or bad, we can enter into the experience looking for God's hand at work, either to bring us a blessing, or to help us grow, or to admonish us, or to move us to greater compassion.  Imagine if we can have a deep down attitude of gratitude that we would be able to thank God for every day of our lives and for every event of our lives.  Would this apply to tragedies, sickness, sufferings and even death?  Yes! 

A Jesuit, Pedro Arrupe, was the leader of the Jesuits from 1965 to 1983, right after the Second Vatican Council which concluded in 1965.  It was a time of drastic change and extreme challenges.  In every event he looked to "find God in all things," a key principle of St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits.  Towards the end of his life he suffered a stroke which debilitated him for the remaining 10 years of his life.  During those 10 years he was paralyzed on his right side and became completely mute.  Was he able to find God in this experience of being trapped in his stricken body for 10 years?  Yes, and he composed a prayer that captured his attitude.  It goes this way:

More than ever I find myself in the hands of God. This is what I have wanted all my life from my youth. But now there is a difference; the initiative is entirely with God. It is indeed a profound spiritual experience to know and feel myself so totally in God's hands.

So with whatever happens this coming year, let us look for the hand of God in every event of every day so that we too may "find God in all things."

How can a loving God allow so much suffering?

Have you ever noticed that life seems to be one problem after another.  How should a believer in God think about life's steady flow of problems?  Here's how:  Everything comes from the providential love of God.  Everything.  Yes, everything, even what seems to be terrible, whether it's suffering caused by others, or by ourselves.  It all comes from the loving providence of God. 

How can a loving God dose out to us terrible things?  Think of it this way: the Lord gives us from His own hands whatever comes along as if saying to us, "Here, I want you to help me with this problem.  You will not be alone.  I will be with you.  But I want you to help Me solve this problem."  There is a real freedom that comes from this way of thinking.  It's a freedom from resentment and a freedom to enter into the problem with hope and with the consolation of knowing the Lord is with me.  It works for me.

What does "lead us not into temptation" mean?

“Lead us not into temptation.”  What is this “temptation” that the Lord tells us to pray about?  The ultimate temptation we all face is this: the temptation to be other than where we are; the temptation to be other than who we are.

How many of us spend time wishing for a more prefect world, a more congenial association of family members, a different spouse, a different job, a different world?  And how many of us spend time wishing I were other than who I am, wishing that that I didn’t have this or that problem, didn’t have this or that history, didn’t have this or that struggle in life?  Think of all the effort and money spent on being a different “me,” less gray haired, less fat, less lonely, more happy, more wealthy, something, anything, other than who I am.

This temptation was the temptation of Jesus Himself in the Garden of Gethsemane: to be in a different place, to be facing a different immediate future, to be other than this kind of Messiah.  He could have run up the hill of the Mount of Olives and run to safety at the home of Martha and Mary and Lazarus.  But His hour had come.  He was indeed the type of Messiah depicted in the Suffering Servant Songs of Isaiah; this was His calling and now the hour had come for Him to embrace what was before Him. 

    Another translation for “lead us not into temptation” is “subject us not to the test.”  Do not let us be put to the test, namely the test of being tempted to be elsewhere, and to be someone other than who we really are.

                So, the next time you experience the temptation to be dissatisfied with your life or with your predicament, or with your loved ones, or with your plight in life, or with your looks, or with your history of sin, or with your being you, then pray the Lord’s Prayer, and pay attention to this line:  “Lead us not into temptation.”

How to help a suicidal person

Every now and then along comes someone who is desperate, even to the point of contemplating suicide.  Such a person is always truly depressed, so we can really help people by being alert to signs that this person is becoming depressed.  When the depression settles in even to the point of suicidal thoughts, those who love this person need to kick into action immediately.  Voicing suicidal thoughts is a first step in moving toward acting on those thoughts, especially if a specific method is already being thought about.  When a person is that depressed we need to get this person to a hospital, even if he or she is resistant to such an idea.  Usually such a person will say, "No, I can work this out myself."  Not so.  When persons are this sad, medication is absolutely essential to help them, and they need ongoing therapy to work through the causes of depress.  And as a disciple of the Lord, you and I can and must move into action.  Such a person is greatly helped just by the caring involved in helping get help.  More later, especially on the spiritual dynamics involved in depression.

Fears

Lingering fears are never from God.  Chase them away!